Accepted by?

I am convinced we all have a pathway for finding love and acceptance that has nothing to do with what God has accomplished for us through Christ.  As I listened to one author who is a scientist, she said we were created to be loved.  I believe we don't just need love and acceptance, to be loved and accepted is life.  Therefore in our families growing up we all seek to become the person we believe will be loved and accepted, yet ironically when this false self is loved it is empty because it is not the real person.  There is a deep-seated fear in every person that goes back to the beginning, in Genesis 3:10 Adam voices this fear "...I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself."  When I asked one friend what he believed righteousness was, he said to stand before God naked and unashamed.  Attempting to obey the Law would mean that I put on a self-righteous mask, whereas being accepted with worldly friends means that I wear the mask of being like them, or I attempt to hide behind the mask of "everything is fine" afraid people will see the sadness or disappointment in life.  I believe one of the most powerful ways we seek acceptance and love, was the pattern of hiding we learned as a child.  As I reflect on my life I realized that the mask I often hide behind is the "being right" mask which changes like a chameleon based on who I am with.  Just as long as I avoid the dreaded rejection but quietly missing an opportunity to connect with another person from my true self.  Yet as I lift my eyes to look at Jesus I see a human being who willingly endured rejection to be His true self, love.  There is a courage that comes from the Holy Spirit that is required for us to walk in our true identity and really connect with others.  I am amazed when I walk away from talking with a friend who is a believer, when I am able to be my true self then both of us receive a grace.  Being my true self always means that I get an opportunity to display my humanness, let's face it humanity is always messy.  May God Spirit give you the courage to be the true you today.

In His Grace,
Bret

Entering His Presence

As I was reflecting on the promise the Lord spoke to my heart that He would give me heavenly sleep, I was struck that through my struggle with sleep that God's purposes for everything in our lives are higher than ours.  As I focused on receiving His peace, I was reminded of the Scripture in John 14:27 where Jesus promises to give us His peace which is not like the world's peace (circumstantial).  Then the Lord reminded me of Romans 5:1, where Paul declares under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit says that "...we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ...".  This peace with God means that we can enter into the peace that Jesus enjoyed with the Father as a son, we are also declared as sons (He being the first begotten son).  As I meditated on this truth while I fell asleep I woke in the morning reflecting on the reality that Psalm 100:4 states, "Enter His gates with thanksgiving And His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name."  During this Thanksgiving the Lord has highlighted the importance of thanksgiving not because it is a "have to" but that through thanksgiving we enter His gates and into His courts with praise.  I cannot help but think about the reality that everything in the Old Covenant was an outward symbol of the inner reality to come through the New Covenant.  So the New Covenant believer is equivalent to the temple and Paul declares our bodies are the Temple of the Holy Spirit, our body is the outer court, our soul is the inner court, and finally our spirit is the location of the Holy of Holies.  When we are touched by God at the level of our true identity, then we have entered the Holy of Holies.  I find that it is very easy to stop short of this divine encounter, coming away from studying His Word or reading a book but experiencing emptiness inside.  I desire to learn God's path for entering His presence, so that I can get to the point of continual revelations and divine encounters.  In Matthew 4:4 the Word says, "But He answered and said, "It is written, 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.'"  The Greek word here is rhema which means the spoken or revealed Word of God, as opposed to the written Word of God (logos).  Encountering Jesus means that we are changed because we see through the eyes of faith who He is but then we also see who we are (2 Corinthians 3:16).  I don't know if I am the only one that has difficulty getting all the way to a divine encounter, I get discouraged or disappointed rather the joyful expectancy of faith.  I pray that my journey encourages you to go deeper with the Lord in our oneness with Him.

Made for Him,
Bret

Free Will

As I sat with a client who was beginning to see the fruit of his choice to trust his own way, which was not bringing peace to his family.  For some reason in the midst of this the Lord began to show me the amazing reality of free will, many of us wish we didn't have a choice because we seem to mess it up.  Yet without the amazing gift of free will, we would not be able to choose love.  God so valued our free will that He put two trees in the Garden of Eden, boy did we "in Adam" make a mess of this choice.  God could have put the Tree of Life as the only important tree in the Garden, yet He so valued us and we are created in His image that we needed to have a free will.  Since I grew up in a home where I learned how to play the victim role, you often feel powerless and helpless.  This is much different than what the Word says, "I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants..." (Deuteronomy 30:19).  God gives us the choice of life and death in the Garden of Eden we chose death (in Adam), Jesus chose earthly death to produce eternal life (for us) in the Garden of Gethsemane and now we again can have the choice of the tree of life, Jesus.  I am continually amazed at how much we want our free will but when someone doesn't do what meets our needs we put pressure on them to be who we want them to be.  It is a rare principal to honor people's free will even to the point you know you can get hurt, I am sad to say that much of our desire to have people change is so we won't be hurt.  It is a marvelous and overwhelming reality that I have a free will, that "in Christ" I do have a free will because I am dead to sin so it does have the power to control me any longer.  Free will is so powerful that out of reverence for how God set us free, we begin to have the desire to rely on and trust Him with our new free will because we know the damage of trusting the flesh to run life.  I pray that today you would see that you truly have been set free to make so many different choices but through seeing God's goodness have a desire to entrust your will into the Spirit's capable hands.

Free "in Christ",
Bret

Why is rest so hard?

After I have been led of the Lord to take a step back in counseling, counseling an hour less a day than I have been for the past 6 years I still struggle to rest.  I recently heard a message talking about rest and heard a familiar passage but in the Message version, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30)  I love the way this passage reads, especially "...learn the unforced rhythms of grace..."    There is a rest when we first come into Christ, realizing that our sins have been forgiven and tasting unconditional love.  This rest does not seem to sustain us over the long-haul because we need an even deeper rest, which is more of a rest for our soul.  Unfortunately there are beliefs, lies, and thoughts in my soul that seek to steal this rest.  As I have personally struggled with insomnia over many months, rest has become more important to me.  I have come to see how the lack of sleep not only steals energy but also steals joy, renewing, and creativity.  In our culture we have very little value for rest, we are a society of doers who thrive on continual achievement, progress, and unceasing activity.  Even the Body of Christ seems caught up with the latest programs, growth, and ever increasing information.  Yet if God values rest so much that after 6 days of creating the earth and all that was in it He rested, then rest must have some value beyond just giving back energy.  God was not tired after He created the earth, He is unlimited power, life, and love.  I believe we can only rest through our faith in the finished work of Christ because through this Covenant we are assured that all our needs will be met.  If you don't know that you are safe and your needs will be met how could you rest.  In the passage in Matthew it is even said "...Get away with me and you'll recover your life..."  Meaning that without rest our life will not be restored but slowly head the direction of death.  I am asking the Lord to reveal to me the value of rest, Jesus even talked about a type of rest apart from the Sabbath rest under the Law.  Since we now have the life of Christ within us, we are learning to cooperate with this new life.  We didn't know to be a forgiving person til the Holy Spirit revealed the power and freedom of this new way of living "in Christ".  I believe part of how the Holy spirit is going to reveal the value of rest, is through my own experience.  The rest that Jesus teaches about is not a rest of doing nothing, this is often attacked in our society as laziness.  The unforced rhythms of grace, is being available and in tune with the very life of God flowing in us and around us.  The Holy Spirit must be my guide into this rest because all I know is what I have lived, this rest also must be of a higher reality (Heaven).  I pray the Lord would speak to you about this rest and teach you His rhythms.

In His Rest,
Bret

Adam's Leadership into Death

As I made some poor choices in my family and the Lord begins to work to clean up the mess, I believe God is giving me some revelation through this that will be helpful in the future.  As the Lord again drew me back to Genesis 3 and the pattern of "The Fall" I began to see another mystery start to be revealed.  After both Adam and his wife (later called Eve) ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, then their eyes were opened and they saw that they were naked.  Then they came up with this plan to sew fig leaves and make loin covers.  Where did this plan come from?  We don't know but when God asks Adam "Where are you?", it was Adam that says he heard the sound of God in the garden, and out of fear he says that hid himself.  Adam was not skilled in lying yet that would come later, so he is very honest that fear led him to hide and the woman says nothing about hiding.  Interesting.  So was Adam first to react in fear and hide himself, thus leading his wife and others into further deception?  I have learned in my own marriage the painful fruit of hiding myself and thus not letting my wife and children know me.  I made it a priority for my wife and children to feel safe to share what was going on in their lives, but if I am hiding I am not modeling what I am asking them to live.  I find that I am reacting to fear just as Adam did then turning around and expecting my family to be open and vulnerable.  I thank God that He put me "in Christ" and there is a new way to live, I am still in the process of having this new way revealed.  God announces the curses after the woman's confession and one of these curses is "Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."  The word for desire in the Hebrew is "tĕshuwqah" which means craving or longing, it seems to refer to an unfulfilled longing.  The word for rule over is "mashal" to rule, have dominion, or reign; these aren't exactly wonderful touchy/feely words of intimacy but one that infers control from fear.  I am just beginning to see what the patterns from the Fall are that have twisted the beautiful intimacy Adam had with God and then his wife.  As God reveals the shock waves of destruction that have gone forth from "The Fall", then I believe God will reveal more of what He has done "in Christ" to restore.  I want to experience this freedom first for my family and then for others.  I heard one person say you don't read The Word of God, it reads you.  As the Light of the Holy Spirit takes the Word of God penetrating into the thoughts, motives, and intents of the heart.  Intimacy takes risk but we were created for intimacy with God and intimacy with our spouses and others.  Yet we live in a culture that doesn't value intimacy but independence and control.  To have true intimacy with God and others means death to our masks, protections, hiding, and our false ways of living.  God in His Word holds up intimacy and oneness with Jesus as the abundant life.  I pray that this longing for intimacy with your Father and others would be stirred.

In His Amazing Love,
Bret

The Father's Song to you

I was reading a book called "In Heaven" by Dean Braxton about this man's experience of dying physically for 1 hour and 45 minutes then experiencing Heaven.  To be honest I am realizing I read way too many non-fiction books, craving the touch of God.  The desire God has put in my heart for Him is good but too often I go about thinking I am going to find Him in my way, rather than surrendering to His gentle leadings.  As I read one chapter in the book where Dean is describing the going ons in Heaven, he began to talk about the song The Father sings to each person that is unique and special to that person.  This song from the Father brings life to that person as it goes inside of them, I thought I wonder if I could hear the song He is singing to me.  Then the Lord reminded me of Zephaniah 13:7, listen to how the Amplified Bible states it "The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who Saves]!  He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing."  I was blown away to imagine that the Lord sings over me and rejoices over me in a personal and intimate way.  I had to hide the tears as I shared this with my men's Bible Study, this is the kind of love my heart had always longed for but believed was not all together real.  This quality of love that God bestows on us (1 John 3:1) is so out of this world that comparing His love to how we have been loved in this world only serves to lead our heart away from Him.  In Ephesians 2:6-7 we are told that "...and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus."  This is very important because since I am seated in "heavenly places in Christ Jesus" now than I can hear the song that the Father is singing to me.  My heart is bursting to hear this song that I may come alive even more with the Life (Zoe) of God.  As Dennis Jernigan pointed out about Zephaniah 3:17 (one of his favorite verses) that a song is very relational and that rejoice in the Hebrew means to rejoice and spin about.  God is that excited to sing over me, wow that is a lot to take in.  This really challenges all my cautious, religious, and safe type controls (fleshly).  I have never had anyone that excited or interested in me, except maybe my daughter when she was young and small.  Her running to me when I would come home from work (she was 2-3 years old), was a greeting that was better than anyone deserved.  The joy on her face as she ran to me, must be a slice of the reality of God's joy in welcoming us home into His arms.  To hear someone say that God loves you is wonderful but since it has been said so many times we tend to discard it easily, it is just information.  To see and experience the reality that God sings over us a unique song that penetrates into the deepest parts of our being and brings life is a whole new experience.  We as the Body of Christ need more revelation by the Spirit's work and less information.

Learning to Hear the Father's Song,
Bret

Cursed is the ground

The Lord has put on my heart to study for Him to reveal the effect of the curse on the ground in Genesis 3 and what He purchased for us through the finished work of Jesus Christ.  In Genesis 3:17-19 His Word says, "Then to Adam He said, 'Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat from it'; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.  Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field; By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return."  As I was looking into the Hebrew meanings of the words, I was struck that the Hebrew word for toil itstsabown  which means pain and sorrow.  I sensed the Lord showing me that men have pain working to provide and that there is sorrow because the ground (work) doesn't produce what you expect.  This is all part of the curse because of sin's entrance into the earth and after the Fall.  As I continued to study the curse on the ground I was struck by this phrase "Till you return to the ground, because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return", I sensed the Lord pointing me to the burial of Jesus as how God broke the curse on the ground.  In Romans 5:14-15 we see the connection between the first Adam and the redeemer Jesus Christ, "Nevertheless death reigned from Adam until Moses, even over those who had not sinned in the likeness of the offense of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come. But the free gift is not like the transgression. For if by the transgression of the one the many died, much more did the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abound to the many."  Since all those who are born "in Adam" would experience all the effects of the curse but we who are "in Christ" have been united in His death and burial.  This happened in the spiritual realm and we believe it by faith, thus the curse on the ground is broken through our burial "in Christ".  The curse is ended through death and burial, this another aspect of the Cross that we can celebrate God's victory on our behalf through grace.  This is all wonderful revelation but I am looking to the manifestation of this curse being broken and the blessing purchased for us "in Christ".  I am learning how to enjoy the journey the Lord has me on to reveal the truth of the Word, it seems to be like pieces of a puzzle coming together.

In Christ,
Bret

God is Love?

Why is it that so many people, including me, struggle with grasping that "God is love" (1 John 4)?  I know this is true by the amount of fear I see on the Body of Christ:  we hide behind masks, we tremble at the thought of Judgement Day, we don't share our real feelings, we perform for one another, we create images, we are distant in prayer rather than raw and honest, and we don't have the joy of the Lord.  I am not pointing any fingers here, I find myself squarely in the middle of this mess called the Body of Christ.  I have just come to the point in my life where I cannot question "God is love" anymore.  No human being on the earth or whoever was on the earth would create a God that is love, wrath, anger, fickleness, and perfectionist we could and would create.  I understand that our idea of love and God's are very different, He defines love as laying down your life (John 15:13) then proceeds to carry out this verse on the cross.  This kind of love is so beyond this world that we have nothing to compare Him to, so we usually compare Him to those who were to love us in our life.  If we were loved well, then we tend to be able to accept God as love to some extent.  Yet for those who received rejection, hurt, disappointment, and loss the Light of God's love is so overwhelming, He must turn it on slowly in our hearts or we would be overwhelmed to death.  Even the best expression of love in this human world fades in comparison to the purity and brightness of God's love.  To see His love we must always look to Jesus Christ, because in Him (Christ) dwells all of the Godhead bodily (Colossians 2:9).  I understand that fear is the indication that we really don't experience the love of God fully, this from one of my favorite chapters of Scripture 1 John 4.  It really is a very radical belief to stand on God being love, many may say God is just, righteous, and truth but fewer would say He is love.  There has been a deep place within my heart for most of my life that has longed to know the God who is love but my heart stumbles over others beliefs that He falls short of this incredible nature.  Many have quoted Scripture in a way that betrays the fear in their hearts and I mean a terror.  Yet in 1 John 4 the disciple who was called, the one Jesus loved, says that fear expels every trace of terror and that when we stand before God on the Day of Judgement we will be as Jesus in this world.  Honestly my heart is tired of going back and forth, I am deciding today if there is anyone who portrays God as not love I will not believe them.  He is my Abba who loves because He is love, His covenant with me "in Christ" is a unilateral covenant of Him reaching out to me in love.  There is no performance, mask, or proper way I can live to earn this love.  I was even convicted that I am not completely honest with God in prayer because I fear if the yuck that sometimes spews from my inner world will bring punishment from Him.  Let's face it if you really believed that all the thoughts, intents, and stirrings inside were completely laid bare before God we may approach prayer a little differently.  It is so ridiculous the internal games we play to hide, when we consider God knows it all.  That even our best performed prayers or our greatest "good works" are totally exposed in His Light with all the selfish intentions behind them.  No our best hiding doesn't work but when we understand that God has declared us righteous "in Christ" why do we need to hide.  Then we can openly share with God the selfish thoughts, frustrations, forbidden questions, doubts, insecurities, and even secret sins.  I believe the grace of God is so much more powerful than we can ever imagine and more complete than all of our comprehension.  Yet we live small because we often have a small God who can't handle our problems, doubts, fears, sins, flaws, failures, and all the human condition so He is going to just punish us (maybe even eternally).  It is crazy but when we realize the picture of God the Body of Christ is picturing, I am not sure I would want to know this god.  I believe this god is far short of the God of Love I see in the face of Jesus Christ.

God is Love,
Bret

Orphan Heart or Friend

I realized through a few people and my own heart that loneliness is a big deal in our culture.  As an only child raised in a single parent home, I often felt alone in my everyday life.  The Lord just recently touched a place in my heart where I believed that everyday I had to do life on my own and this was just the way it is.  I remember waking up before school as a child with a foreboding sense of the day because I just knew inside that I was going to have to navigate the day alone.  Early on in life I made the decision of the "orphan heart", which is that I am in this alone.  In Genesis 2:18 we read where "LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone;'".  I can only imagine the abyss of loneliness both Adam and Eve experienced after "The Fall", especially the loneliness that came from the disconnection between them because they had to "be like God".  In other words through "The Lie" they had to be in control, have it together, be self-sufficient, and be the source of their own supply.  If they let down this god-like mask then they would be naked, vulnerable, weak, human, and inadequate.  I like Adam and Eve learned to hide behind this god-like mask that I didn't need God and others as desperately as I really did.  This apparent strength was coming from an orphan heart which was afraid of trusting anyone but myself.  From this place it became more important to reinforce the walls of my self-protection, than to reach out in vulnerability.  I chose isolation over friendship, I chose safety over risking rejection, I chose a lie over the truth, I chose darkness over light, I chose my own strength over appearing weak, I agreed with hopelessness over hope, I chose death over life, and I chose being an orphan over being a son.  For many years I blamed my father who abandoned me through suicide and my mother through my distorted perspective emotionally abandoned me, both have responsibility for what was theirs but finally I made the decision to agree with an orphan heart.  The Gospel comes crashing in on this darkness through John 14:18  "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." and John 15:15 where Jesus says, "No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you."  I have heard it said that there is a translation from the Hebrew that says orphan means comfortless.  This would tie into a passage that I have been meditating on 2 Corinthians 1:2-4 which says, God is "...the Father of mercies and God of all comfort...".  These verses go on to say that God "...comforts us in all our afflictions so that we will be able to comfort others..."  The Lord began to show me that I don't see Him as the God of all comfort that I expect to be disappointed, left on my own, or rejected by Him as I felt with others.  This deception sets me up to not receive from Him, when He is just waiting to bring comfort, compassion, and mercy.  I thank God that I am receiving a revelation of who He is as the Comforter (one of the names of the Holy Spirit).  May He be the source of comfort in your life.  Too many have viewed God as the afflictor rather than the one who brings comfort, where in Scripture does it say He afflicts us.  The Word does say he disciplines but discipline is done in love for building up not for tearing down.  I pray His comfort in your life.

In His Comfort,
Bret

Always stuck Looking Into the Future

The Lord revealed something as I was just reflecting on a passage, I find revelation can come at the most unlikely time.  The revelation was into "The Lie" Satan told Adam and Eve in the garden, he said "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."  Notice that Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden enjoying relationship with God, with each other, and had all they needed for life, yet Satan points to something future tense to lead them away from what they were currently experiencing.  Satan began to paint a different picture of the wonderful life Adam and Eve had with God, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?"  Satan eloquently paints a picture that they are really not as free as they once believed they were, by suggesting that God is withholding or limiting them.  Then he sets the hook by giving them an alternative to the problem they really don't have, he says if they eat from the tree then their eyes will be open and they will be like God.  God is saying of Himself "I AM" meaning He is present tense, when Jesus begins His ministry He announces the Kingdom of God is at hand.  Religion is always telling us if we would just do this (pray more, read more Scripture, stop sinning, lead more people to Christ, etc...) then we would truly be living the Christian life.  We also live in a culture that is constantly striving for more than what we have today, we often buy into this through the mindset (if only I had......).  We fill in this blank with many things- a better marriage, more money, less stress, I would be skinnier, in better shape, happier, and on and on it goes.  What is implied is that God would then be pleased with us but when we arrive only to find another thing.  Often our thought is if I could just get over this issue (weakness or sinful habit) then I could truly live.  My point is that the Kingdom of God through the New Covenant in Christ is always present tense, whereas everything else is it may happen some day in the future.  To be fair I do understand that there are promises we receive from God, that He works over many years into our life to see come to fulfillment.  Jesus in His time on earth would often declare things about Himself or about the Kingdom, most of these were present tense.  In Corinthians Paul declares that all the promises (of God) are yes and Amen in Christ.  By the way it is us who say the Amen (so be it) on earth as it is in Heaven.  We are release God's Word on the earth by coming into agreement with the truth but there are so many things that war against us declaring His Word.  Many times it has to do with our identity and feeling unworthy, or feeling a lack of faith, or just a sense of not quite measuring up.  The Enemy has planted the seed of "The Lie" and it has multiplied into millions of lies that affect the way we think and see ourselves.  The Enemy has spread his false gospel of fear, which has affected the way we live, relate to one another, and the way we see God.  The Kingdom of God is now, we (heirs of salvation) can declare His Kingdom of love, peace, and grace on the earth.

An Heir of the Grace,
Bret

Worship dethroning god (little "g")

I was struck by the Lord to see worship from His perspective.  As I looked back at Genesis 3 I read this section from "The Lie", "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."  One of the declarations we made as a group of 20 men at "Men at the Cross" is that we are not God and we are not in control.  See all of us believe that we are "God" at some level, that we need to run our own worlds, that our view of life, ourselves, and others is right, and that for me to be in control is the only way.  I will admit to you that I love and hate worship.  I know hate is a strong word but I never understood the resistance inside of my heart to fully enter into worship.  Worship exposes the deep places in us where we want to be "god", thus we want to be worshipped.  This was the first rebels (Satan) problem and at some level it is still our problem (because of thinking/believing in our soul).  I understand at a deeper level why worship is a priority in God's heart, to free me from my self-idolatry.  Worship is a direct offense to this "god" mindset inside of us known as the flesh, Jesus is calling me out of this binding lie into the glorious truth of being united to Him.  When we worship the true God, we declare that we are not God, God's Word is true, and that He alone deserves worship.  When we look at God's Word as suspect, then this is indication that we are being influenced by "The Lie" and thus the Liar himself.  It was questioning God's Word that led to questioning God's nature and ultimately to choosing oneself (Adam & Eve) as "god".  It makes sense why the Enemy hates worship of the true Lord, so he has waged an all-out war against worship.  There are many times when churches argue about worship styles, length, and volume.  Also I have seen that worship leaders are often ones who are faced with more temptations, attacks, and issues in their lives because God knows that when we worship Him we come alive.  I pray that God will renew your mind of why worship is a central priority in His Kingdom and must become in our lives if we are going to glorify Him.

Worshipping Our King,
Bret

Soul and spirit seperate?

As I was reading a book by Watchman Nee called "Releasing the Spirit" I resonated with what he talked about that the outer man (soul) is separated from the inner man (spirit).  As we go through brokenness this fusion between our soul and spirit seems to be torn and broken.  This is often involves deep pain, yet our spirit is allowed to be more free.  After going through brokenness, which can be somewhat of an outer body experience I began to experience life very differently.  I began to notice that my soul can be struggling, while my spirit remains calm.  Before experiencing brokenness I always thought freedom would mean that my soul would never struggle, I find that this is not true.  After going through brokenness the first time and many times afterwards, there are days when my soul struggles deeply with deceptions and temptations.  It was very helpful to read Watchman Nee's description because I can see more clearly that my soul is in a process of being transformed, so many times it will be in a state of unrest.  This doesn't mean I have to be in a state of unrest, because the real me is hidden "in Christ" so I can be at peace even though there are large swells on the ocean of my soul.  The world on the other hand offers soul peace through controlling your outside environment, going to restful places, and removing things that are annoying.  This is why in Matthew 6 Jesus talks about how the pagans strive for what they need, but we as children of God receive them from Our Father.  Jesus talks about the state of worry in which our souls are concerned for our basic needs, worry also means to go two different directions.  When His Spirit is enthroned in our life through our spirit we are depending on Him, thus not divided otherwise we are depending on ourselves always trying to determine good and evil.  Our spirit united with His Spirit has one focus and that is His Kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33).  Separation between the soul and our spirit means that we can praise God in our spirit continuously without being constantly interrupted by the troubles of our soul.  May you begin to notice the shift the Lord has brought about within, so you can yield to the Holy Spirit and not the noise of the soul.  The soul is not bad but cannot be our master or we will not experience freedom and life.

Possessed by Promise,
Bret

Lower to go Higher

I just got back from a weekend retreat called "Men at the Cross", I was struck through the whole experience how integral humility is in our journey with the Lord.  As I had written earlier I believe 1 Peter 5:5, "...God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble."  Jesus was willing to humble Himself by coming from Heaven into earth, being born a little baby to a working class family, be under his earthly parent's authority, apprentice under Joseph, and then humble Himself unto death through the terrible toture of the cross including everything that led up to it.  Since Jesus came to us in humility, weakness, and even brokenness are we to come any other way.  Jesus said "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."  in John 14:6.  I have recently been struck with the awareness that I often don't realize how I am coming to God but when I am exposed then I can understand the outcome.  In other words the Holy Spirit has revealed to me that I often come to the Father expecting disappointment, that He won't meet me and bring comfort, hope, and life.  So my flesh is stirred up, then I make excuses for not spending time in worship, study, or prayer.  The lie is that He will disappoint me and leave me all alone, the only way that I have gotten free of this is to come in humility being open about what I really believe.  Jesus is the truth, He does not need me to correct my thinking but to bring what I am really believing to Him.  I once heard a Beloved Daughter of the King say, "I seek to humble myself because the Spirit flows to the low places."  The Enemy always seeks to bring the counterfeit, which is self-condemnation and degrading oneself.  This is not humility but actually pride because we are not agreeing with who God says we are, the Word says that the carnal mind is at enmity with God.  Only we as believers can hold two seemingly contradictory things in tension and see truth, i.e. Jesus says He is the fullness of grace and truth.  We are His Beloved sons and daughters (1 John 3:1&2) but also cracked pots/broken people (2 Corinthians 4:7).  Jesus would often challenge the Pharisees when they wanted to use the Law to qualify some and tear down others, He would speak life into these dichotomies.  The Pharisees in John 8:2-11 brought a woman before Jesus saying that the Law of Moses commands her to be stoned, they were attempting to trap Him between obeying the Law (being just like them) or being soft on the Law and letting her go (then He would be condemned under the Law).  Jesus was able to bring grace by reconciling two contradictory things, this woman's sin and being accepted by God.  I encourage you to come to God in humility, weakness, and complete honesty.  He will meet you.

In His Grace,
Bret

Got God Got Hope

Hope is critical to life, without life quickly fades into death.  I recently talked to a friend who shared a story of a man who had been standing in the gap to see his marriage restored (even wrote a book about it) and yet after 7 years he was losing hope and feeling condemned.  Everyone who is alive has hope or they would not continue to live, many are giving up on life in droves (suicide rates are high).  I have times in my life where the darkness seems to creep into my life and I have difficulty finding purpose and hope.  In my spirit I know I am not without hope and only going through a dark day or two.  My soul is where there is doubt about hope.  I was recently reminded that this passage in 1 Peter 5:5 is really the gospel wrapped up in one little phrase, "for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."  Pride is far beyond arrogance but the relying on ones self and viewing God and His Word as suspect.  As I came to the Lord in humility with the darkness that was going on in my soul, the Lord revealed that after my dad committed suicide I gave up on life and hope.  Then because of those around me, I believed I had to strive for hope.  The Lord spoke deeply to my heart, "Will you let Me be your hope?"  The words pierced deeply through my heart as I realized that all my striving (listening to worship music, reading Scripture, and reading books) to find hope had not really changed these deeply held beliefs.  In Ephesians 2:12 we are reminded that God connects Himself to hope, "and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world."  If you are in the world without a Covenant then you have no hope, but you can also have no hope when you don't connect with Jesus in Covenant.  I thought I had to get myself through the sadness, loss, and change in life of losing my dad.  The Lord showed me that I had no way to know how to get through this so I needed to rely on Him.  We all have times where something or someone in our life pushes us beyond the hope we have in and of ourselves, Jesus is our only real hope.  It is so different from the world that we find hope in the person of Jesus Christ, versus something in our circumstances changing (internal hope vs. external hope).  Jesus reminded me, "Just come to Me as you are."  So often we feel that we have to straighten things up on the inside to come to Jesus, we have to at least be presentable.  I love it that Jesus is not in the least interested in these efforts but simply wants us to come as we are.  As I get ready to spend a weekend with 24 men I don't know on Men at the Cross, I have been touched by the ministries challenge to come as you are without the masks, the striving, or the religion.  They have discovered through the Word that Jesus meets us in our weakness and humility.  Hope is that there will be a change for the positive, instead of things continuing as they are or getting worse.  I reminded that Jesus met people who were in need and humble, He is still the same today.  Come as you are, receive the New Life He has promised you.  Our posture in the New Covenant is always of receiving by grace, no earning or striving will work.

In the ONE who is my hope,
Bret

Receiving People and Increasing in Revelation

What does receiving people and getting increased revelation have to do with each other?  I am glad you asked, the Lord recently showed me something I had only heard about.  In Matthew 10:41 it says, ""He who receives a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he who receives a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward."  I heard a message about receiving people for who they are "in Christ" and receiving the grace that is on their life.  So here was my lesson, my uncle (a business and community leader) came to visit.  Our visit was pleasant but he had more than just family time in mind, coming all the way from Georgia.  Then we had two conversations where he spoke into our lives in two important areas for us: our family and ministry.  Because my uncle is a leader and is decisive his authority can be wrongly received.  My uncle is a gracious man who has a lot of godly wisdom and he has considered me like a son ever since my father (his brother) committed suicide.  As I had listened to the message on honoring the Spirit of the Lord on people's lives, I recognized that my uncle is a builder or in Biblical terms apostolic.  This comes from Ephesians 4:11-12 which says, "And He [Christ] gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ;"  I am not saying my uncle is an apostle but simply that I recognize through the Spirit of God and the Word that he has an apostolic bent.  All this to say that in order to position my heart to receive grace that is on his life, the Lord led me to see that he is a builder (apostolic) in order to receive this grace.  People who are apostolic seek to see life aligned according to Heaven's priorities.  So after my uncle challenged us in the area of family instead of receiving it wrongly, we decided to take a step up in the authority God's given us "in Christ".  Thus we were built up, putting into action what God had revealed earlier instead of making fleshly excuses for our lack of growth.  I walked away from that conversation and the one regarding the ministry and our support situation, challenged but empowered with a new sense of growth for the immediate future.  I had other people in my life who felt insecure, anxious, and even threatened by the level of authority that my uncle carries because of who he is.  I have to admit that at first I wrongly took the challenge and had some self-condemnation for what I had failed to do but then the Lord reminded me of the prayers that I had prayed seeking to have Him move me out of a particular stuck place in my life.  People who are given an apostolic gifting will exhort people in the Body of Christ to walk in the authority, identity, and power they have been given.  In Matthew 13:57 the people of Jesus home town began to receive grace from Him, until they saw Him as they knew Him as a child (Jesus of Nazareth) then they took offense and did not receive grace or any miracles.  In 2 Corinthians 5:16 & 17 it says, "Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer.  Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. "  In these verses the Holy Spirit through Paul is exhorting us to see people differently than when we were not born again, to see others for the new creature they are which means that I can also receive the grace of God through them.  May the Holy Spirit give you different lenses to see people, especially believers.

For His Kingdom,
Bret

Children God's Gift

I was struck recently as the Lord had me share with a client that some step-grandchildren who had been brought into his life were redemption of his very painful childhood.  I shared with him Psalm 127 "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." and Matthew 18:5 "And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me;" to show my client that God's view was different from his.  I have recently been cut to the heart by both passages as I realized that my view of my own children is far below God's.  I love my children dearly (Megan is 9 years old and Joshua is 6 years old).  As these passages were being revealed there was a deep pain as I realized that at times I have seen my children as a burden and a source of pain. Because Joshua and Megan touches the places in my heart where I was not fathered, I have at times seen them as a source of pain and withdrawn.  I have loved and embraced them deeply, yet a part of my heart pushes away because of the pain.  I decided I would share my life story with my daughter, take responsibility for how I have sinned against her out of my pain, ask her for forgiveness, and finally bless her.  Megan was shocked to hear that my father had committed suicide, she has known for a long time that he died when I was young.  The Lord is challenging my heart to see that through my children He is doing a wonderful work of healing and grace in me and in them.  Megan and Joshua will benefit if I am willing to humble myself to reveal my true heart because the word tells me "...for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble."  (1 Peter 5:5).  Megan and Joshua are often the trigger to these painful places in my life but they are not the source of my hurt.  Every opportunity to step into a place as a loving father, where I did not receive this type of fathering is a place of God's manifest grace.  Yet I am afraid I have backed away from these painful places often because I did not see what God was doing in my life.  I have sought God's healing grace in my life through much prayer, receiving ministry, going to conferences, and going to retreats but one of God's main ways of healing me (through my own family) I did not fully embrace.  I have had glimpses of this revelation but then gone back to my old view, it would have been great to embrace this before having children.  In Proverbs 13:22 it says, "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children."  I must believe that some of the work that the Lord is doing in me will not only benefit my children but especially be an inheritance for my grandchildren.  Redemption is often painful, yet it is the life that Jesus has given us because He is the Redeemer and He is in us.  When we agree with Him and walk in the revealed truth He gives us then we experience His nature in us.  I have fought this battle under the surface for many years, between my view of my own family and God's.  I choose today to fully embrace God's view which is bringing about redemption, rather than my view of pain and death.  This is how I can display the love of God to my children and grandchildren (who will be born some day).  I know that I am fully dependent on the indwelling Holy Spirit and the flow of grace to see this work accomplished.

In His Redemptive Love,
Bret

Chosen

Ephesians 1: 4-6 has come to mind several times over the last few months, the Lord says through Paul "just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him.  In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved."  At first it was easy to read this Scripture as text without getting the picture/revelation of what that really means for me.  I have always loved the story of the prodigal son and especially when the prodigal comes to his senses and the father runs out to him while he was still a long way off.  As I have been in this season of having difficulty resting and sleeping well, the Lord has been sifting out anxieties, worries, and fears.  I came to see that being chosen was something I really struggled with on a heart level.  The Lord worked through my marriage to expose that I was afraid to fully love because there was a deep-seated fear that this love would not be returned.  I began to see that I even felt this with the Lord, that I would love Him but He wouldn't love me back and then I would be heartbroken.  Through childhood rejections I had learned how to put a protective shell over my heart so I wouldn't get hurt again but this shell also has kept out those who loved me.  As I reflected on the passage in Ephesians 1 I realized that being chosen was not a minor issue but one of the most important truths in this New Covenant in Jesus Christ.  All the blessings and promises depend on a person being included in the Covenant through the blood of Jesus Christ.  If I choose God always trying to get in but He never chooses me then it is all my religious performance.  If I am a servant, then I can serve God without really knowing Him but if I am a son then intimacy is implied in the position.  If you have not had the experience of being chosen but most of your experiences were one of rejection, exclusion, and judgement then it is hard to receive these verses.  On a logical basis I could agree with Ephesians 1, my heart was far from this revelation because of all the rejection of the past.  When we adopted my son from Kazakhstan around 5 years ago it was certainly a wild journey to choose him.  There was the journey in prayer, discussions, lots of paperwork, praying through possible referrals, and then more paperwork.  This was the birthing process in our hearts coming to fruition, until we finally chose my son when we got the referral.  We felt so utterly weak when it came to choosing a child to be our son, so we put our trust in the Lord's guidance and even the Lord's word spoken through others.  I can still remember to this day when I opened up the email from our adoption agency of the referral, I looked at the picture and tears came to my eyes as my heart lept inside.  This is my son!  We had actually had two other referrals of two different little boys but there was no peace that these were our son.  We came to peace as we prayed and lifted these children up to be chosen by other parents.  Looking into the eyes of that boy in the picture, my heart already began to bond.  I tell you this story because this formerly orphan heart needed to be taught about being chosen, because I like my son didn't have a home for my heart.  Many seek security through good circumstances, a certain amount of money, a secure job, or even a spouse.  God's offer of security is finding a secure place in His heart as one of His sons or daughters, but we must be chosen.  How does God choose His sons or daughters?  I bet you there is no formula because God is so creative.  We must be free to choose because love is built on freedom, not coercion or manipulation.  Legalism cannot produce sons and daughters but only obedient servants that don't know the Father's business.  Where are you on your journey of being chosen by the Father?

Chosen In Christ,
Bret

Walking in the Light !

In 1 John 1 we are told that God is Light and told to walk and live in the Light so we can have fellowship with one another (1 John 1:5-7).  The word fellowship is the Greek word "koinōnia" which means communion, intimacy, and real community.  In other words we can't really connect with another person if we don't walk in the light.  I realized that I was a darkness dweller for so much of my life and have carried these old patterns into my relationships with my new life "in Christ".  I would be frustrated with my wife because we weren't able to connect but I was hiding my innermost feelings, thoughts, struggles, and concerns.  I was sowing that darkness into our relationship and then looking at her when it began to feel miserable.  Through the Holy Spirit's revelation I realized it had nothing to do with her but a relational pattern I developed growing up with my mom that I was still letting into my life.  The darkness has such a pull- to hide, not be exposed, appear okay, and not burden others with your struggles.  The truth is that way you don't have to risk rejection, judgement, or some form of punishment.  Only believers can be brutally honest, walk in the Light, and know there is Grace.  The problems, issues, and insecurities we have that are in the darkness often get so twisted and blown up to much bigger than they actually are.  As children of the light it is no longer our nature to take part in the deeds of darkness (Ephesians 5:8-13) or the perspective of darkness.  It is the perspective of darkness that leads to discouragement and despair, which seems to be one of the Enemy's main strategies against believers.  When we look through the eyes of Christ given to us through the Holy Spirit we see that there is always hope.  The Lord spoke to me one time and said, "There is no hopelessness in My Kingdom."  In the Light there is always hope, love, truth, freedom, and life.  So if you have places in your life where you dwell in the dark (secretive, hidden, or dishonest) then consider this an invitation to come into the Light (God) and experience being a child of Light.

In His Light,
Bret

Finding a Breakthrough!

I am learning God's supernatural ways, that I may know Him (This is what Moses said).  I have been praying the verses from Isaiah 45:2-3 "I will go before you and make the rough places smooth.  I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name."  So as I was ministering to a client and  I began to feel the weight of their burdens and heartaches, it was midway through an intensive.  My natural response out of the flesh would be to cry out from under the weight of this burden to God or either just feel so weighed down that I agreed with the discouragement.  Instead the Holy Spirit moved on me to give radical praise by worshipping and dancing to the Lord while interceding for the client.  The Lord also moved my wife to prayer, she identified a root of fear and also Faith (our office manager) had been given a story from the Word.  The client came in the next day apologizing for her frustration and sharing her breakthrough of how the Lord revealed she had been giving into fear.  She was able to see she had a choice to not walk in fear.  It would be easy to assume that these were all coincidence and that prayer is truly not effective in seeing people experience freedom.  This is not according to the Word of God, in James 5:16 it says "The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."  This Scripture is connected to the story of how God worked through Elijah's prayers to stop the rain and then later to release rain on the earth.  I believe Satan has used tradition of man to lead many believer's to not take their authority in prayer to see "Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."  The tradition of man is that it doesn't matter what we pray because God will do whatever He wills regardless of what we do.  This is not true because there are two words for God's will, one is God's ultimate will that is going to be completed whatever humans choose and the other is affected by people's cooperation  (Two Greek words- Thelema and Boulema).  How would my prayer life change if I really believe that through the Holy Spirit God's prayers are being released through me to bring His Kingdom?  I pray that through this entry the Lord will reveal how powerful His prayers are through you to release Heaven on earth.

For His Kingdom,
Bret

Forward Momentum

Maybe it is just me but sometimes in areas of my life I do not feel like there is always forward momentum.  The Enemy has seemed to play on this in the past, assigning the spirit of intimidation to try to get me to back up and believe I am not making any progress in my life.  When we assess our progress in life:  our kids are not as godly as we hoped, we are not as in good a shape as we would like, we want to be stronger in the Lord, and we want to see victory in all areas of our lives.  Take heart you are making progress!  How do I know?  Because Scripture declares it in Philippians 1:6 "...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete [it] until the day of Jesus Christ;".  Amazing that Paul is saying he is confident that the One (God) who started the work is going to finish it, transforming us into the very likeness of Christ.  I am so sick of misperceiving my progress and thus being tempted to go down the road of discouragement (I tend toward this anyway).  Since early in my life after losing my father, it seems most forward steps in my life have involved much opposition.  My twisted (carnal) thinking tends to put many missteps together to formulate this idea that I am going down the tubes towards death.  If any of us look at our lives apart from the finished work of Jesus Christ we can quickly fall into despair, the truth is we are all hopeless apart from Christ.  Being saved does not mean that I get to evaluate how I am doing on the journey, the Holy Spirit alone is the One qualified to tell me how I am doing.  I have been looking at road bikes after saving several hundred dollars, it is easy for me to feel inadequate as I talk to the salesperson in the bike store.  He asks me what my goals are and if I want to ride a century (100 mile ride).  I am now 41 years old and do not have ambitious plans to be some consistent century rider, if I ride one in my life that would an accomplishment.  At my age I have noticed a shift within myself towards really wanting to see what I want to spend my life on, after living 40 years I have tried a lot of things and not been satisfied.  I have been deceived to believe something, someone, or some position will give me life only to find that there is limited life there.  The Word is clear that if you have Christ you have life (1 John 5:12), somehow I think I fall short of really knowing and experiencing all I have.  The salesperson at the bike store is not going to guarantee me that if I buy this bike I will successfully ride many centuries.  Yet God guarantees the deposit of the Holy Spirit to produce the likeness of Christ within us, in other words God has not only purchased us, forgiven us, put us in right standing with Him, given us a new life, but also has absolute confidence in His Spirit within us to make this real in our lives.  It is not my job to change me, yet I seem to get deceived into believing it is up to me (to be more like the person I envision myself to be).  I surrender to how the Lord is changing and transforming me, I don't seem to help when I take over by believing I haven't made enough progress.  God knows that I will fail at some area of my life 82 times but delights in the 83rd time when I see a breakthrough.  I even believe God sees the little steps of progress of my surrender to Him changing me. whereas I have too much of a propensity for looking at my failures.  I find myself having some envy of my wife who has had the experience of being coached in swimming (all the way through high school), encouraging her to reach goals and progress.  I never had this kind of coaching so I tend to quickly internalize the negative, rather than see the positive progress even if it is small.  I now have the best coach on-board, the Holy Spirit is totally confident He is going to complete the work He began and even sees the finished product (me totally transformed).

Being Transformed from glory to glory,
Bret

The Power of Belief

We were invited by some friends to their cabin in the mountains on a lake, my family was tired from camping the previous weekend and the week but looking forward to the trip.  We reminded the kids that on Fridays we clean rooms, since I am not always around on Friday this was my first time supervising room cleaning in a while.  My daughter quickly went to work but my son seemed to get lost in playing with the LEGOs that were on his floor.  When I challenged him that it was time to clean his room, he got frustrated and declared "I can't".  I know that partly he did not want to clean his room but also somewhere inside of him he believed "I can't".  I watched as he struggled like it was an impossible task, so I would ask him which part he wanted to do first then I sat in their with him.  Sometimes I wander if being in an orphanage for 17 months affecting him believing in his own capability.  I decided to make it my personal mission to help him see the truth by experience, it did take over an hour for him to clean his room and pack a small bit of clothes for the weekend trip.  One of the last things to do was to put his comforter on his bed, as he repeatedly declared "I can't" he struggled to even have the comforter on the bed much less neatly arranged.  I was amazed at the power his declaration were having over his body, it seemed his body moved in rhythm with his repeated declarations.  I was convicted that many of my negative declarations over myself are what end up in a negative mood and then my actions follow.  This is a rather simple lesson but one I seem to need to relearn over and over again.  This is why the declared Word of God is so powerful, Jesus displays this by rebuking the Enemy when He was in the wilderness by the spoken Word of God.  I talked earlier about a verse in 2 Peter 1:4  "For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust."  Amazing it is through the many promises of God "in Christ" that we are partakers of the divine nature, I have been told all these promises are already mine "in Christ".  The truth is while all these promises are mine, there are many areas of my soul where I exponentially believe a lie rather than the truth of the promises of God.  This sure sounds like an overwhelming amount of work to declare the promises of God over my life til the Holy Spirit births these in me.  Maybe I need more revelation into the power of His promises being birthed in my life.  I was raised in the belief that if something is painful it must be wrong, but I have learned contrary to this in my life that the best things in life often come with much pain (ie. good family relationships, trusting God, faith, and love).  So I come back to the power of belief, if I continue to believe lies rather than His promises I will not experience escaping the corruption in the world.  I decide today to believe the truth of His Word, as I continue to put His Word before me that it maybe birthed in me.

In Christ,
Bret

Getting closer to Jesus?

So many Christians desire to be closer to Jesus and hear from God.  Biblically we have already been brought near through the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13) but I understand people want to experience intimacy with Jesus.  I have discovered that God does not do things on my terms no matter how bad I want it, this is what makes Him God and not me.  Intimacy with Him is on His terms of grace and the New Covenant not on what I think draws me closer to Him.  I was in our men's Bible Study where we have been studying "The Power of Blood Covenant" by Maclolm Smith for the past years (this is a meaty book).  I was struck as we were studying friendship with God that in a Covenant which is the giving of oneself to another person without reservation, that God has already given Himself in Christ.  Then why aren't we receiving?  Maybe it is because we are withholding ourselves from Him, there are many Scriptures about Jesus knowing us.  This type of knowing not knowing about but the greek word for intimate, personal, and relational knowing.  So if I am struggling with God revealing Himself to me, maybe I have not opened areas of my heart to Him.  I for so long thought that going to Church, reading my Bible, praying asking for things, begging God, and doing spiritual activities would draw me closer to God.  "If anyone loves God, this one is known by Him" (1 Corinthians 8:3), this Scripture tells us that to love God means to be known by Him.  This word known is the greek word 'ginosko' which is the intimate knowing of one person knowing another.  In John 10:14 we see the same theme, "I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own."  Both words for known in this verse are 'ginosko' both us being known by Jesus and us knowing Him.  These are all covenant words that having the meaning of giving of oneself to another and their giving of themselves (in this case Christ) to us.  This revelation helped me to see why, when I walk after the flesh and hide, protect myself, be dishonest with others, and avoid honest prayer, I seem to experience distance from God (though positionally I am in Him).  I believe desperation is part of the spiritual life but I also believe desperation led by the Holy Spirit will lead us to the paths of righteouseness for His names sake (Psalm 23).  I am learning that righteousness under the New Covenant is not earned but it is also not my way of living but submitting to God's way of grace to produce His righteousness in me.  I have for a long time seen the benefit of inner healing prayer where the lies about our identity are displaced with revealed truth but now I understand why this kind of deep vulnerability and brokenness is necessary to experience intimacy with Jesus.  I do believe while you cannot get closer (positionally) to Jesus than you are (if you are a believer), you can experience more of the intimate relationship that God brought us into by being "in Christ".  This also reveals why humility is key in the New Covenant to experiencing His grace, anyone who says they know grace yet hasn't opened hurting areas of their heart has mostly knowledge about grace.  I pray that this will be an invitation to go deeper with Jesus and be willing to open areas of your heart that you may experience the indwelling Christ.

In His Amazing Grace,
Bret

Birthing Promises

For many years there has been a facination with the story of Mary giving birth to Jesus, not as a nice Sunday school lesson but as a practical guide for God doing a work in our lives.  In John 1:14 we are told that "...the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory ...", Jesus was the Word became flesh.  In Luke the testimony of the angel coming to Mary and bringing the word of God, that she would give birth to the Son of God.  This is all a wonderful testimony but we can relegate it to a story, rather than God is setting a precendent for how He will also do things in our life.  Since Mary's response to the Word of God through the angel was "Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word."  (Luke 1:38), we see that she agreed by fatih with the Word of God and the manifestation came 9 months later as the baby Jesus.  I have several Scriptures on 3 X 5 cards that are promises I have been led by the Lord to speak out over my life that they would be birthed in me.  I also have a prophetic word about me that was given to me in 5/06 that I have not yet seen manifest in my life.  This prophetic word often feels like a dream because it represents a new me, freed from many of the bondages that have held me for many years.  Some times I feel stupid reciting promises that still feel far off, other times I strive for this because my heart so longs to experience God in this way, and other times I feel defeated in hopelessness of it ever coming to pass.  Yet in the promises of the New Covenant given to us at a specific time by the Holy Spirit have the power of God's Word backing them up, Mary did not try really hard to become pregnant with Jesus.  Since I am a man I do not have the birthing experience in the natural, although I walked with my wife through her pregnancy with our daughter and walked with her through the pregnancy in the spirit of our adopted son as she prayed him into being.  So I am a tad removed.  Yet I want to understand the journey and cooperate with the Holy Spirit in birthing the promises of God into me.  As it is says in 2 Peter 1:4 "For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificant promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust."  It is through receiving the promises of God that the Holy Spirit births the manifestation of that promise in our life (the Divine Nature).  Having something birthed in us does not mean that we are earning the promise since it is by grace through Christ's finished work. The promise became ours and it is by the grace of God by the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit that He works in us to bring the manifestation of the promise.  Sounds technical but I am seeking to understand how God works so I can participate with Him.  Do we have a part?  Yes, if I don't put faith in the promise and the God who made that promise to me "in Christ" then will it come about in my life.  In 2 Corinthians 1:20 we are told "For as many as are the promises of God, in Him [Jesus] they are yes; therefore also through Him [Jesus] is our Amen to the glory of God through us."  I added [Jesus] to show what the previous verse says, that it is Jesus the Son of God by which the promises are yes and amen.  I am asking the Holy Spirit to highlight some promises in the New Covenant that He wants to birth in you, let us go on this supernatural journey.

In His Amazing Grace,
Bret

Avoiding Potholes

I once heard a story about a boy who was walking home from school.  He went down a street an accidently stepped in a big pothole filled with water, his mom was not happy when he got home.  The next day he walks down the same street and sees the pothole just as he is about to step in it, his mom was not happy.  The next day he walks down the same street, sees the pothole, and goes around it.  Mom was happy that day.  The last day he decides to walk down a different street.  This is an analogy of life and how we often fall into patterns or do things that are life-giving.  Jeremiah 17:5-6 says this, "Thus says the Lord, cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the Lord,.  For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant."  Recently my wife and I had a weekend just the two of us together where we began to get a more clear focus on where the Lord was taking our family and seeing the barriers.  I was feeling really great about the progress we made over the weekend and the agreements we were coming to.  Then the pothole, I asked my wife if she was ready to proceed with the plan.  She said she was still thinking and praying about.  We had sowed financial seeds and have been waiting for God to be faithful to His covenant to see a harvest, while there also were some extra expenses coming our way.  My heart was beginning to turn away from the Lord but I didn't realize it.  The next day my wife called to compliment me on how I had stewarded our finances after listening to "Dave Ramsey" on the radio, I thanked her for the compliment.  Yet I began to take credit for God's faithfulness and His wisdom in our lives.  I have had difficulty sleeping in the last couple of years, then I went to bed last night and tossed and turned.  My heart had turned away from God as my Provider and security towards trusting in myself, how was I going to handle our financial needs, how was I going to get my wife to agree, and how was I going to plan for our future.  As I listened to a sermon on Grace the Lord convicted me that I had turned towards trusting myself and thus anxiety, fear, and feeling overwhelmed.  I amazed at how subtlely the Enemy sneaks in to get us to trust ourselves and throw out the covenant promises God has made to each of us.  I repented and turned my heart to Him to be my righteousness, my Provider, and my security.  If He doesn't show up then I am sunk.  Jeremiah 17:7 says "blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord."  I am praying that as I humble myself under His mighty hand that He will show me that the pothole is coming so I can walk around it or better yet walk down a different street.  I thank God for His grace and His power, all I supply is the weakness.

In His Grace,
Bret

Worshipers?

I was recently thinking about John 4:20 where Jesus is speaking with the woman at the well and they break into a discussion about worship.  "But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers."  I was struck that the Father is not looking for worship, like let's sing some songs in church or let's sing Cumbya around the fire.  He is looking for people who have an identity as true worshipers.  How do we become true worshipers?  Good question, I believe that Jesus worshipped the Father through works of grace (miracles, healings, and signs) but really His whole life was worship.  When the Father put us "in Christ", Jesus the true worshiper is in us and we were seated "in heavenly places in Christ" (Ephesians 2:6) which is where there is continual worship.  Since we who are in the New Covenant receive all the promises, a new identity, and payment for our sin through the finished work of Christ not through our own works or effort.  I think of Romans 8:15 "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption by which we cry out, 'Abba, Father!'."  The Spirit of Christ in us is crying in to worship the Father, later in Romans 8 it even says that all of creation is groaning.  Deep inside of us there is a groaning, a desire so strong within us that the only satisfaction that comes is from worshipping the Father.  We were created to worship the Father because "in Christ" the glory of the original creation Covenant is restored.  You were designed by the Father to worship Him because in worshipping Him you come more fully alive.  The other thought the Lord connected for me was reflecting on Romans 12:1 which says "Therefore I urge you, brethern, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrafice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship."  I was blown away when I someone shared the revelation that under the Old Covenant we would never be an acceptable sacrafice but now "in Christ" being a living sacrafice we are holy and acceptable.  We are not our own and when we offer ourselves to let His Spirit live through us, this is worship.  The fire of the Holy Spirit is in us to consume all of the sacrafice, transforming us into the image of Christ (Romans 8:29).  So does God want us to sing songs or does He want to transform us into true worshipers.  So every person can be a temple of worship to the Father through the indwelling Holy Spirit, I believe we would see a lot of glory.

Worshipping Him,
Bret

Establishing the Secret Place

The Lord has been revealing that from age 6-16 years old I hid in a shell, covering the inner pain and sadness as a way to protect myself.  When you have experienced a lot of damage to your soul, it is often hard to see an end to the pain and difficulty.  Since my father committed suicide he gave up hope and even believed God would disappoint him, this iniquity was passed onto me.  Where in a lot of ways it seemed easier to give up hope than put myself in a place to be disappointed and hurt again.  The Lord gave me the verses in Isaiah 45:2-3 as a promise for this year, I read these verse almost daily.  In these verse the Word says, "...I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places..."  The Lord spoke to my heart that He wanted to make the place in my heart where I had gone for these 10 years as a boy the "Secret Place" where I meet with Him, instead of the place of sadness, loneliness, rejection, and hopelessness.  As I had looked at thoses verses in Isaiah I realized that the shift from the Old Covenent to the New Covenant, meant that the external symbols were now fully fufilled by "...Christ in you the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27).  So the secret place wasn't some building, a temple, or even a garden but a place that the Lord was establishing in my heart where I will have communion with Him.  Yet the Lord chose the place of greatest isolation, sadness, and pain to establish a place of deep intimacy.  This seems almost cruel, yet I believe He is giving me the treasures of darkness.  Remembering back to the years between 6-16 years old there is a lot of darkness, pain, sadness, and isolation.  The Lord is going into a place the Enemy has brought his lies and destruction to rescue my boyhood heart.  This is the Spirit of God's journey into the deep places of my heart, do I allow Him to touch these places of pain for redemption.  We live in such a culture that is always looking for the easy and painless way, yet my God invites me into the depths of pain for redemption.  I don't go alone because Jesus entered this place before me and as me so that He could rescue me into the safety of the Father's arms.  I am amazed at the more honest I get about my choices in life, the more I need Jesus redemption from the darkness.  I used to believe that I was basically a good person before Christ, but I know see that there was a part of me that is described well in the Bible "a child of wrath".  The Lord has also spoken to my heart about how He wants to establish the "Secret Place" through worship and soaking in His presence.  I realize that since I have chosen to heal through so much of the lies in my childhood, that I am used to working through things to find freedom.  The Lord is showing me that this is different, it is about His invitation to meet Him in the "Secret Place".  He is transforming me into a "worshipper", up til now I worship more as something that is part of church.  Transforming me into a "worshipper" means that I will have a song in my heart to Him and that praise will come forth out of my heart.  I look forward to the results of the transformation and I pray for the grace to enjoy the journey as well.  Where is He wanting to establish the "Secret Place" in your heart, where you meet with Him and enjoy times of communion.

In His Love,
Bret

Groaning not grumbling!

In Romans 8:23 the Word says "And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body."  People often grumble that life is not what they want:  their job is unsatisfying, their kids are not what they hoped, marriage is not all they hoped, church is unfulfilling, vacations are not as good as the brochure says, and life basically is not the stuff of dreams.  We all grumble at times but I was struck that grumbling is really making a commentary on my life.  So why is there such a lack of joy around us and maybe even in our own homes.  I believe because the life we long for does not exist first here but in heaven to then be manifest on earth.  In another words without heaven's resources we pretty much have to follow a statement my kids made, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit".  But I believe the Bible is giving words to our grumbling but we tend to come to the end-result of our grumbling and accept it as fact.  The Word of God does not stop there because this groaning that is described going on in us who have received Christ, ultimately is to result in our adoption by God (bodily redeemed).  In other words this groaning has a purpose it is for us to be adopted as sons and experience bodily redemption.  I don't believe this is just to "poof" happen at the second coming but rather we are in this process of becoming "The Bride of Christ" til we fully become and He returns.  I am in a season where I really feel the groaning within myself, where I long to be so much more than I am today and experience so much more of who He is than I do today.  In my heart's eye I see a radically loved son who is free from the fear of rejection and loves others with strength, risk, and compassion.  What I see really manifest is small steps of boldness, many other steps of fear and intimidation, discouragement, frustration, and a hope that the next day I will manifest Him more fully.  I think I am beginning to see that since it is God who put this life in me in the first place, it is up to Him to more fully manifest His life.  I recently went to hear a woman speak (Heidi Baker) who has seen 1 millon come to Christ, daily cared for 10,000 orphans, seen miracles, and loved the least of these.  My heart soars to believe that some day I could be something like this amazing person but then sinks with all my unbelief, fears, and apprehensions.  This amazing person calls herself "little person" with a Big God.  I am calling on a "Big God" to change this little person (me) into a radical lover of Him and others.  In my more clear moments I can see that the "groaning" is an indication that Christ in me is coming forth.  Why does the birth of the "New Creation" have to be so painful and why does the baby get stuck at times?  I long to walk in the manifest presence, power, and love of God but the waiting is painful.  This groaning does not seem to fit into church or discussions of daily life, it is a deep and raw groan.  My wife recently described her hunger for God and I looked at her like:  "You have that too?"  She described an almost insatiable desire for His Presence that has not been easily satisfied or even expressed by others.  Sometimes I am so aware of the groaning that I can't seem to function in life but I always ssaw it as past pain I needed to work through, rather than this person I am becoming.  As we understand the New Covenant we see that we are "in Christ" which means we have a new identity, yet there is this tension because we realize we have a lot of lies about our identity.  These lies make up what is "our truth" about ourselves and the life I currently function in, yet the Holy Spirit inside of us is bursting to be more through us than these lies.  Groaning.

Groaning,
Bret

What is reality?

As I started my week of renewing and refreshing with the Lord I was reading a fiction/fantasy book that challenged me about what is reality.  We have so often accepted a reality that is not influenced by God's Kingdom but more by our experience of this world.  Heaven is not just the "sweet by and by" but actually a place and a superior reality to this one, since Heaven created earth not the other way around.  Since the gospel boldy states that not only have we been united with Christ in His death, burial, and resurrection (Romans 6) but also His acension (Ephesians 2:6).  In the verse in Ephesians we are told that we are "and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus", this is not future tense but past tense.  Amazing that this is something already accomplished through the finished work of Jesus Christ and by His grace in the New Covenant, this is all part of being born again.  What a low view of ourselves we have compared to this radical truth which is the gospel.  I can see how unbelief is our primary problem, which so limits our experience of our inheritance in Christ.  Since our spirit is now seated (which is a position) in heavenly places in Christ, does this amazing work of God have a function or is it merely a honorary title.  I believe that the Word boldly declares that our "citizenship is in Heaven" (Philippians 3:20), I don't often think of a citizen of a country as just someone who visits there but a daily resident.  Since I am a daily resident of heaven then to have experiences of heaven would be normal for us as believers.  But I am caught in this contrast between two worlds, one in which I often feel painfully normal (or below normal), and another where I am told I am someone amazing who through the Holy Spirit can do amazing things.  Everyday I am giving this feedback on a moment to moment basis that I am merely human and not extremely special.  I believe disappointment has a lot to do with shutting down our dreams and hopes of who we are in Him.  I began to see through the Holy Spirit highlighting it in my heart that when I was disappointed so many times then I began to stop hoping (as a child).  In our dreams we dream of being someone better than we are now, we dream of our needs being more than met.  When you live in an earthly reality where you needs are rarely met and you live with the daily pain of unmet needs, you begin to accept this as normal.  As a child I dreamed of a father who would love me unconditionally, teach me how to be a man, believe in me with his strength, and fill the holes in my heart that were so painful.  But after a season I began to lose hope and then give up all together.  Then my hope was reignited through the accepting Christ and the Gospel.  Yet when my beginning experience of the love of God began to fade, others around me seemed to be okay with a God who loved them from a distance.  Either they were okay with it or they had the love of God that I so desired.  I see that in heaven there is no limit to the love of God poured out on us (Ephesians 2:7), yet why do so few seem to experience what is clearly written in the Word.  Sometimes I feel as though I am going to explode with tension between these two realities, just like the character in the book "White" by Ted Dekker.  In this book Thomas Hunter is torn between a reality where good and evil are clear and so is God, then an earthly reality where things are hidden.  Thomas Hunter believes he is dreaming in both realities but soon learns to draw strength from God (called Elyon) in the one reality, to change the earthly reality that is unfolding into disaster.  I feel like Thomas Hunter.

In His Grace,
Bret

Your Shelter

The Holy Spirit recently answered a prayer of my heart, which was to understand why I don't seem to rest.  As I listened to a message on "Displacing hidden core pain" Jack Frost talked about three primary fears that affect all of us:  the fear of abandonment, the fear of trust, and the fear of submission.  The Holy Spirit began to show me that I had been struggling with the fear of trust, which manifest itself in a lack of security.  Security is one of the core needs we have as human beings, this is part of the dimension of the love of God.  In Psalm 91 David under the influence of the Holy Spirit calls God his refuge and fortress, why would God be something for us if we didn't need Him in this way.  As the Lord has shown me the fear of trust in my life I have seen the elaborate system of self-protection that I have developed to guard the most vulnerable places of my heart.  I believe having a revelation of our fleshly ways of handling pain in our lives is necessary, so that we can agree to have God dismantle this in our lives.  As I listened to another message on healing the heart of the family, I was convicted by the Holy Spirit of how my protective lifestyle has robbed my kids of knowing my heart.  I have sought to be vulnerable but always on my terms and who I deem appropriate, maintaining a more composed front with my children.  This is a thin veneer because as I see many clients who have to later get real with their kids because their hiddenness was harmful to the kids, I know I will have be humble and broken before them at some point.  This could be one of the greatest times of God's love outpouring in our family, yet I have avoided this because I had justified my hiddenness by believing this was not appropriate for kids.  If my children don't know my history (in Adam and my family) they will not understand the difficulties they are facing.  Especially because my reaction to the pain and damage I have received has undoubtedly left hurts in their own hearts.  My son being adopted adds new dimesions to how our family heals because some of his wounds were not connected to me or his mother.  The farther I go as a believer the more I see that humility is the key to receiving grace, which means if you want a promotion in the Kingdom of God you go lower.  I have been wrestling not only with the area of broken heartedness that the Lord is healing in my life and pouring His love into (Romans 5:5) but also how to help my family be restored to the Father's love.  I am continually amazed at the depth of need for God's love in my heart but I am also thankful that God is a God of abundance.  I trust that as I pour out the pain, the mourning, and the lack of love in my own heart from a broken place as a child, that God will pour His love into me in a greater measure then what was lost.  We can do great damage to others if we are poor stewards of our sufferings, if we share in these sufferings with Jesus we are told we will share in His glory (Romans 8:17).  My prayer is that out of my wounds will flow healing to many other broken hearts.  Isn't this living the Exchanged Life, the death of our flesh and that out of His life within us life is given to others.

In His Love and Power,
Bret

Receiving Love

Why is it so hard to receive love?  Love by it's very definition has to be intimate but if we have been hurt in the inimate relationships of our life, then we very likely have a hard time receiving love.  Many who are more influenced by legalism believe that Grace is letting people off easy, how wrong they are because love/grace touches the deepest parts of our being.  I once heard someone say that to love someone is to meet their need.  So by God loving us, doesn't it mean meeting our deepest needs for security, affirmation/praise, significance and purpose, and expressed unconditional love.  We all have these deep needs that either we are seeking to open up to God and begin to let Him meet or we have learned how to meet through false comforts/idols sought by the flesh (people's approval, acceptance through position or power, identity through money, or other ways that people give us what we long for).  Yet all of these fail us at some point, I even sat across from someone who had been disappointed by ministry.  I have often heard people talk about the mistress of ministry, if I can just help others heal then I find my significance in their finding freedom until they can't find freedom.  The flesh is a terrible user of people and relationships, we long to love unconditionally but we can only give what we have received.  I find myself in a place where God is exposing that I don't fully trust love to open my heart.  I can blame my wife for some intimacy she has but the truth is I don't trust my heart to open up to love, I have learned to protect myself from being in those very exposed and vulnerable places.  Yet my defense system seems to be disintegrating, deep inside I long for the defenses to be gone and to be open and loved.  Yet there is still a part of my heart that believes this defense system has a little bit of life, so letting it totally go is like dying.  Somehow I still find comfort in this false security by protecting myself from perceived threats like a victim of a crime who is being revisited by the criminal.  Once you have been hurt deeply you have a radar detection for possible hurt again, yet Christ within me longs to out in the open where people can know me, love me, accept me, and also reject or hurt me.  This is an up-close look at the battle between the flesh and the Spirit.  I am thankful that I can sense a strength rise up deep within me of trust, love, and hope.  My spirit is not unopposed because the flesh has as it's evidence to protect all the pain from the past that is now surfacing.  This seeminly hidden pain is now becoming more obvious and this is place that I will have to go if I am going to be touched by the love of God.  Those who have a theology of God's love but no experience are like the sound of clanging gong, the truth is this where I find myself but I want my theology to become experience in my life.  It was the Greeks who tore apart knowing about something and intimately experiencing it, the Hebrews would say that knew something if they had both knowledge of it and experience.  In our Christian culture we throw around God's love like it is a common thing that everyone has truly experienced, yet I believe there are many (like myself) who have experienced a degree (some a very small degree).  When I read one of my favorite sections of scripture which is Ephesians 3:14-20 I love the part that says "... a body filled and flooded with God Himself..." (Amplified).  What a picture to be filled and flooded with God who is by definition light, love, and power.  This is no ordinary person, this is a person who has so experienced the love and power of the Holy Spirit that the other junk of the flesh (selfishness, insecurity, fear, anger, jealousy, envy, and control) is being pushed out.  Many like the message of the Exchanged Life because it makes sense, because their perspective of the Christian life really didn't work but how many of us are flooded with God Himself.  The truth is we as believers all have Him in us but has our mind, will, and emotions been renewed with God's revelation, love, and power.  Believe me I am not pointing any fingers because I am afraid to trust my heart to love, yet being at home in His love is such deep desire/longing that it hurts.  I believe His Word that He will bring me into fullness as I give Him access into these areas of deep inner pain.  I find that tiredness, some burnout, lots of needs around me are all conspiring to expose this inner pain wearing down my defense system that at least seemed like it worked before.  This produces an emotional rawness, vulnerability, and need within my own heart that drive me towards the pain and an encounter with the God of love.  At times I honestly want rest more than I want to go forward but this is a rest coming from my own efforts not the one He gives.  I long to be so at home in the Father's love that security is Him and He is unshakable.  I do not mean that I will have such a security that I will never have fears but I do believe His love will then be bigger than fears.  At times now it seems that the fears that rage inside are bigger than God, these strongholds must come down to enter into a deep rest.  I pray that my honesty and openness can help you along your journey with the Lord, that you may encounter love at deeper level.  We were made to be loved.

In His Love,
Bret