Submit to God

I was recently wrestling with an issue that has plagued me for about 2 years. I have struggled to have peaceful sleep but instead had sleepless nights, anxious sleep, and fatigue. The Lord had revealed that I had used sleep as an escape in my childhood and then later in life. If there things in my life that were overwhelming or too much, it became easier to not think about them through avoidance during the day til I could sleep at night. This all backfired because Jeremiah 17:5-8 is clear there is a curse when we trust in ourselves to get our needs met. After God granted me repentance I believed the breakthrough I had prayed for was here. I have to admit I did have some shame about this issue, here I am a man of God and one who teaches others about His grace and rest. Oh well, the Lord doesn't seem to care about my image or comfort. I had prayed many times for Him to take the sleeplessness, tried over the counter meds, natural substitutes, and lots of frustration. Finally God broke through the darkness, the fatigue, and the frustration to speak to my heart telling me to "Submit to Him". I thought I had submitted but then the Lord began to show me that I had not fully submitted to Him in this sleeplessness. I had given mental ascent to the idea of God using this but I had fully recognized His sovereignty in this. I am not sure if this struggle was from the Enemy, allowed by the Lord, or was simply because of my lie-based beliefs. No matter what the source in order to know how to walk 1 Peter 5:6-10 tells us to humble ourselves under His mighty hand. A key here is that instead of fighting a circumstance that we believe is wrong, uncomfortable, not normal, or any other number of judgements I believe we need to submit to Him. Also in Hebrews 12:5-11 discusses the discipline of the Lord, which in grace circles can be something we don't like to talk about. Discipline is not a dirty word, discipline is the Lord instructing us, building us up, and getting out things that are not a manifestation of His Spirit within me. I understand that none of us like the method at the time but the verses do say that we like the benefit. It goes on to say that discipline "yields peaceful fruits of righteousness". Righteousness under the New Covenant is not perfect behavior to get the reward but right relationship through the finished work of Christ. An example was that in this struggle with sleeplessness I began to be frustrated with God because it was like God was not helping me. So my functional view of Him in this area of my life was far less than a loving Father. At times I felt alone in this struggle, rather than the reality of being in union with Christ. I am not talking about positional truth here, I know that I am "in Christ". I am talking about the experience of our union with Christ, faith in the truth of the Word leads us to experience the results of that faith. The problem is that most of us have a ton of truth that has not been revealed and experienced, therefore in those areas we live in frustration and struggle. God in His sovereignty will work through circumstances and people in our lives to bring these areas to the surface to free us from the lies we deeply believe. We often on the surface do not realize we believe lies about our own identity and about God. I realize if I believed all the truth of the New Covenant and my union with Christ, I would walk as Jesus did.
There are areas where I walk in union with Christ and by His Spirit, there other areas where lie-based fear and self-sufficiency keep from freedom. I pray that whatever you are going through you will submit to God, our Heavenly Father is kind and full of love.

In His Amazing Grace,
Bret