Lies and Darkness

I was recently amazed that we can walk in internal darkness. The Word says God is Light, we often think that is great but don't know how to apply this to life. I found that I hit some internal darkness in my life which was very painful and difficult to walk through. When we believe lies about our identity it produces an internal darkness that we may try to avoid or medicate but can only be displaced by an encounter with the one who is light. As I was having emotions overflowing to the top, I actually got physically sick. After going home and going to bed God began to reveal some things to me. I had a picture in my mind of approaching the throne of Jesus and He told me that I couldn't bring "that" with me. I had worn old rags of hopelessness, a twisted love, defeat and despair, and loneliness. These were a darkness that weighed me down and kept me hunched over. These different things met needs in a twisted way and I was scared to take them off because they were all I ever knew. I was scared to be exposed because I felt totally ill-equipped to love and be loved. After finally discarding these defiling garments I was able to sit with Jesus and talk. He showed me His scars and what they meant for me. He answered the deepest questions of a little boy who had been deeply hurt. I realized I needed a Jesus who could be there in a more tangible way to meet those deep down love needs that had not be met. Jesus was always patient and didn't seem to mind my questions. It was very powerful when He wanted to listen to me, I had not really felt heard in my childhood. Jesus was patient to listen to all that I had to say, even asking me "what else". There is something so powerful about being deeply heard, this brought healing to a broken heart. When we encounter God we may not visualize Him but if we truly have encountered God there will be transformation in our lives. Confronting the darkness in our life takes the courage of God but also it takes desperation. It was those who hungered and were desperate who approached Jesus and then never walked away the same. It was those who relied on an intellectual system of religion but would not come to Jesus needy, who missed encountering the Savior. We all believe many more lies about our identity than we want to admit, otherwise the whole earth would covered in His glory. To be God's beloved children is the most amazing truth but an even more wonderful truth to be experienced and lived. It has struck me over and over again through the Word that "roots" are important. This is not the physical roots but what we really believe deep down inside. Since the Word says "love your neighbor as yourself", then having our identity "in Christ" as our root is primary in being able to love others. This is an identity that comes from "the Word became flesh" which means receiving our identity from the Spirit of Christ. The Word of God tells us about this identity but it is the Spirit that reveals and takes us into this identity.

In His Grace,
Bret