God's Desire

I am not leaving the subject of God's redemption of the family, this is just a look into what God has put on my heart lately. Our church recently entered a season of 40 days of consecration (originally centered on a form of Nazirite vow) and a day of waiting on the Lord as part of this season. As I sat and listened to worship music and just enjoyed the presence of the Lord I was directed by the Spirit to look at the John's vision of the returning Jesus in Revelation 1. Instead of an attempt to increase my desire for God, the Spirit was directing me to look at God's desire for me through the eyes of our returning King (Jesus). The picture in Revelation 1 is not one of a stern, judgmental, or disappointed Jesus but one of eyes aflame with desire for His Bride. I thought how can Jesus have this desire for His bride (me included), when we the Body are such a mess. The Spirit directed me to Ephesians 2 where Paul recounts our state of death, hopelessness, and total disobedience (following Satan rather than God). Right in the middle of the chapter God's desire explodes onto the scene, But God so rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us.... (Ephesians 2:4). In the next verse Paul again restates our condition of death (without life-giving desire). This began a journey of understanding why did God want me to focus on His desire for me, rather than what I want to do for Him. I know see that any desire that originates with me and not with God is desire that ends in death (unfulfilled and misdirected). One author said (Bill Johnson) "Probing your heart to see if you love God enough is always a dead end." It was God who brought us back to life, gave us a desire for Him, caused us to hear His voice, put His Spirit within us, and leads us to know Him. I believe the radical announcement of the New Covenant is that we bring nothing to the table and God brings everything "in Christ". As I see God's passionate desire for me then I respond (come to life), trying to create a desire for God to follow Him, know Him better, or even give more of my life to Him only ends in defeat and failure. Also none of my efforts at vigorous self-improvement or spiritual discipline make me attractive to God, He desires me because of who He is (God is love). Also in Ephesians 2:10 I am told that I am God's workmanship, I have told God that He has a big project on His hands. I have believed the lie from childhood that I needed to make myself acceptable and thus somehow worthy of love. It is such freedom to not have to work on myself or make myself pure. It is only through the finished work of Christ that Paul says about me "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come." (2 Corinthians 5:17) If I agree with the Word of God I am a New Creature already changed, not my own project to be tweaked, ridiculed, chastised, then I can give up on endless thoughts and efforts to try to change me. I heard one person say we don't need a change, we need a transformation. Transformation is when our very nature is made new, only God could do that through the finished work of Jesus Christ. In our society we are very image-focused, I believe the desire to transform our image is from God but Satan offers the external counterfeit to the authentic (who we are "in Christ"). It is so amazing that a God that knows everything about me, absolutely declares His love for me and welcomes me home as a son. I pray Holy Spirit you would lead me into the truth of this every day of my life, may I live as His beloved child. Join me in soaring with Our Father.

In Christ,
Bret Rutland